My daughter has passed on.
I am very sad.
There is a hole in my heart.
However, this short note is for neither Marian nor I. It is for four angels:
Kelley Mullin
Libby DeBattista
Angie Noel
Jnani Chapman

Never in my sixty eight years have I seen such selflessness, such devotion, such love and caring as these four women showed to my daughter as she came to the end of her days.
They cooked for her, fed her and then cleaned up after.
They washed her clothes and helped her wash herself.
They read to her when her eyes were too tired to read for herself.
They tracked her meds and made sure she took the right ones at the right time.
They prayed for her and with her.
They slept on the floor at night in case they were needed in the middle of the night.
In short they made the last days of Marian’s life on this earth one of peace and tranquility and allowed her to pass quietly and with dignity.
I love you and thank you all for all you did for Marian.

Felipe

A Piece of Her Heart

After hearing the kind words of so many people at Marian’s service after her passing, I realized that I was just one of the hundreds of people who Marian gave a little piece of her heart, and her time, to show them new ways to enjoy life. I met Marian through a volunteer group for breast cancer patients named Shanti. Marian invited Shanti and me into her life in early 2008. From the first day I met her, I knew that the time I spent with Marian was going to be enjoyable, unique, and enlightening. I initially thought Marian had brought Shanti into her life to have someone help out with things like picking up groceries, organic foods and teas, planting vegetables and flowers, cleaning up around the house, and to find someone to play a tiny, almost insignificant practical and emotional support role relative to the support she received from Len, Austin, her parents and her other family members and friends every day. It became quite obvious, after only a few afternoons with Marian, that like so many other individuals and organizations, I was invited into Marian’s life under the premise that I would be providing the assistance and support, but in reality, it was me who received the gift – the gift of spending time in the presence of someone so unique, selfless, thoughtful, and dynamic. Marian was a truly special person, someone who could make a positive impact on someone’s life in just a few brief moments.

Marian – I only hope our fun days together were even half as meaningful to you as they were to me. I will always miss you, and will never forget you.

Brent

Marian and I were friends for about 17 years. In the last few years our communication consisted of messages on answering machines. I missed her very much then, as I do now.

At Marian's service I recognized very few people other than her immediate family. Austin was so grown up, a man, and that gave me more solace than anything. When Marian would make me dinner (almost every night) when we were neighbors on Carl Street, Austin would be right beside her making the dressing for the salad. He was only about 3 or 4, but if he wanted to cook, then that's what she would teach him. She was such a good Mommy.

Then, when he got a little older, she would fight tooth and nail to make sure he got the very best attention he could at school and at home. I loved looking at the collection of books she had for him. I would lay on her floor for hours next to the spinning bookcase - Marian and Austin's library.

If you can believe it, I knew Marian before she loved animals. I remember the first time she agreed to cat sit. Her apartment was meticulous and she spent days picking up cat hair! She was a good friend above all though, and would always allow my blue eyed dog Jack to sleep on her floor. She said it was only because he was so handsome. Always the aesthete.

I heard so many stories at the service about what Marian brought to people's lives and my story is the same. She opened my eyes to books, music, organizational skills :), treasure chests (she had so many!), fancy cosmetics, truly loving friendship, I could go on and on. I'm so lucky to have known her.

My best to Augie Dog and all her family and friends.
Much love,
Angela (Scott) Donlan

My darling daughter Marian...

I held you in my arms when you were born, I held you in my arms as you left this world.
My arms are empty now, but my heart is very very full.
I love you forever,
Mom

It is with deep sadness that I hear the news of Marian passing. And reading the words on the blog just shows what a wonderful human she was.

I had the greatest pleasure of working with Marian, for only a brief period, at Aeneid/Eoexchange in 1999/2000, when she was an intern completing her MLS degree. She worked one or two days a week - I think it varied and we would have lunch every week. I looked forward to our time together and she touched me in ways she'll never know. She was a great inspiration to me, a strong woman and beautiful to boot. I'm half the woman she was.

I heard about her breast cancer diagnosis in 2002 and never got a chance to see her - I had moved home to England and was back and forth to SF. We missed each other and alas lost touch, but I have never forgotten her. She was definitely an inspiration to me and I am so sad that she didn't beat the cancer. This news certainly puts things into perspective. This is a great loss of a great lady of immense human capacity and a huge heart.

My thoughts are with you and her family, please let everyone know how farspread this stunning lady has reached.

Sorry to see her go and may her memory live on. I am privileged to have had the opportunity to share her.

Best Wishes
Sarah Lebedeff

Back at You, Kid

Marian and I became friends through a disease. Ugh, right? Except there was nothing terrible about our friendship except for its brevity: two years and a lifetime.

One gift Marian gave me was a simple card, picked up at Trader Joe's market. She may have given the card to others; in a way, I hope she did share the joy it gave me with other friends. The art (Linda Carter Holman) is of a woman in southwestern garb hugging the long stems of cut calla lilies and tulips to her chest over a quote from Wallis Simpson:

A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compelling situation or challenge, and each marked off by some intense experience.

Inside, under the printed "Thinking of you with love during this challenging time" sentiment, she had written:

"Libby, Libby (Hedgie, too!),
I miss your hugs...
I miss your laugh —
I miss your tears —
I think of you everyday.
I love you so much —
Marian"

Who knows what "intense experience" prompted the card from my friend. I do know that losing Marian from this physical realm saddens me and while I believe she is in a joyful place, my suffering is all about me. And so I offer her poem in my heart,

Marian,
I miss your hugs...
I miss your laugh —
I miss your tears —
I think of you everyday.
I love you so much —
Hedgie.

Fresh Berries

Marian was a wonderful woman. She was so kind to me, and I loved her from the second I saw her. She seemed so calm and peaceful when I came to visit her in early June. She insisted on fixing me a bowl of fresh berries and she fussed all over me and my brother. I wish I had met her more than that one time, though.

I'm sure we all wish that we could see her sweet face and feel her kind smile. But she died with her closest family, and she probably died with a smile.

Gracie, age 9